Dad's Eulogy: To Marilyn from Donald Hopkins
We all have many roles in life and I am going to address four of Marilyn’s roles. First is her role as our daughter, then her role as a friend. Then we’ll look at her role as a child of God and finally her role as a Mom in heaven.

As a daughter, she was such an easy child to raise. My wife and I cannot remember having any problem at all with Marilyn.

When she was 10 years old, she fell and hurt her wrist. On this day, my wife and I were going out to dinner because it was our anniversary. Marilyn didn’t tell us of her injury as she didn’t want to spoil our night out. The next day we learned that Marilyn had broken her wrist. All night, she suffered the pain because of us.

Her consideration for others started at an early age.

The cost of educating 8 children can be high and college costs will increase when there is a change in your major or school. I was very pleased when Marilyn finished college in four years.

To me Marilyn was always good looking. In her senior year at high school, she was nominated for homecoming queen. The four contestants and their fathers were on the podium when the winner was announced. I was stunned when the winner was not Marilyn. In my eyes, she was clearly the best. But Marilyn was not upset at all. There was no envy or jealousy. She was genuinely pleased for her friend to have won. In fact all four of these girls have remained close friends to this day and one of them even married my son.

This leads to her role as a friend. This is the role she had with most of you.

Some measure success in life by the amount of money you’ve made. Some measure it by the number of friends you have. In this regard, Marilyn was indeed rich and wealthy.

She had friends from grammar school, friends from high school and friends from college. She had friends from work, the Orange County Social Workers department. She had neighbors and friends from De-Portola where her children attended school including teachers and mothers of fellow students. Friends developed at church and thru the children’s sports activities. Her brothers and sisters, her brothers and sisters in law, her cousins were not only relatives but also friends. Her Doctors and medical care givers became friends. To these she had a genuine respect and was thankful to them because she knew they did their best.

She had so many friends, more than anyone I know. And many of these friendships were very close. They were not superficial. In life, most of us have only one best friend at most. But in a sense, Marilyn had many. 

Recently one of them said “Marilyn, I know you have many friends and I know that I am not your best friend. But I want you to know that I consider you to be my best friend” Marilyn had many best friends.

What was in Marilyn’s nature which caused her to have so many friends? I believe the answer lies in her role as a child of God.

On Pentecost Sunday, the Holy Spirit descended on Mary and the Apostles. On her confirmation day about age 12, the Holy Spirit descended on Marilyn. She received the gifts of the Holy Spirit which are listed in Isaiah 11. They are wisdom knowledge fortitude understanding counsel piety and fear of the Lord. From these gifts, the fruits of the Holy Spirit are reflected in one’s life. The fruits are nine in number and are contained in Galatians 5 as love joy peace patience goodness kindness faithfulness gentleness and self control.

Let us think back about our experiences with Marilyn and judge whether her life reflected these fruits. Did she show a quiet love to all those around her? Was she a joy to be with? Did she bring peace to a gathering?  With her family and children, was there unending patience? Was she considered a good person? To everyone, was she known for her kindness? To her friends and co-workers was she loyal and faithful? Was gentleness part of her essence? Was there always a quiet self control?

Marilyn received these gifts from God, nurtured them, grew in them and her life reflected these fruits or virtues to the highest degree. This is the reason, she had so many friends.

Some here may ask “why did this have to happen to Marilyn?”  But Marilyn herself never asked this question. Instead she asked “why shouldn’t this happen to me?”  There was no self pity, no feeling sorry for herself. Instead she accepted her misfortune with nobility worthy of a queen. And as a queen, she has earned a place high up in heaven.

Others may ask “what about Gary? How will he get along? Don’t worry about Gary. I have seen strength in Gary that I never knew existed. When Marilyn expressed concern that she was a burden, Gary would say “hey Blondy, don’t worry, I married you for better or for worse” And then he would pick up her semi-lifeless body and carry it to the couch. In Marilyn’s name, I thank you Gary for coming through when she needed you.

And the last question, some may ask “what about the children? Luke is only four years old.”  This leads to Marilyn’s final roll, that of a mother in heaven.

Marilyn will be accompanied by the Blessed Mother and the two mothers will pray for the 4 children that the Holy Spirit be with them all, throughout their lives but especially in time of trial. The prayer will be for the four children to continually receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit, namely wisdom knowledge fortitude understanding counsel piety and fear of the Lord. With these gifts and with two such strong advocates praying for them, how can the children go wrong?

So even though Marilyn has departed from this life, she still has one more job, praying for her children. And you children should know your mother is in heaven and you can pray to her anytime to ask her help. And I want you to know that your Mom will always be our little baby girl.

Sister Jackie's Eulogy: Gary's tribute
“Love is patient and kind, love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”

There once was a boy who met a girl. The boy thought, “Hey, she laughed at my jokes… a good sign.” The girl later didn’t remember the boy. In the boy’s own words… “it’s cuz I was such a little guy back then.”

Several years later, the boy, now a young man, again met the girl, a beautiful young woman. He didn’t want to go down to San Diego that day, but with the persistent prompting by a friend, the young man relented. The young woman had a date that night… NOT with the young man. Who HE was, no one remembers because she never did go on that date. She cancelled it to hang out with the young man, who had grown handsome and strong. The young woman, once again, laughed at his jokes. “Hey, she laughs at my jokes… a good sign.” A good sign indeed…the young woman was definitely interested… the young man was smitten.

The young man and young woman became a “couple”… dating and getting to know each other over the next few years. TRUE LOVE was birthed in their hearts over that time. The young woman was raised in a large family; some would even consider it an overwhelmingly large family. The young woman, #7 in the line of 8 children, already had married sisters and the beginning of a large succession of nephews and nieces. Family events were (and still are) a noisy cacophony of conversation, laughter, playing, crying, scolding, and peacemaking. Welcome to CHAOS! The young man entered into our world and in the process entered into our hearts. The exact moment he entered in is unknown. But how could the family’s affection NOT be cultivated for this young man? This young man who grabbed the microphone at Pete and Kathleen’s wedding reception and announced to the crowd, “Elvis has left the building!” And the young man who successfully “landed” his “jump” off the roof at Mark and Kiely’s reception. Mostly unharmed, except for a scraped leg and hole in the pants of his new suit, his exploits began the endearment process. Yes, the young man seemed to fit right in with this family… even adding his own to degree of chaos to the mix.

The young woman fell in love with the young man. The falling was mutual… she became HIS girl… forever and always. They married on April 1, 1995. This man who took this woman to be his lawful wedded wife, from this day forward, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, was of course Gary. This woman, now wedded for eternity was Marilyn (now) DeCarlo. Their married life began. And so began the process of the TWO becoming ONE.

God works that way… backwards in a human’s way of thinking. Two separate people with different upbringings, different interests, different personalities, different likes and dislikes, different ways of processing the joys and stresses of life… two separate people woven over time into one. A work of God, for sure. A work only HE is capable of doing. And over the past 14 ½ years of marriage, God has woven these two hearts together… the two have become ONE.

The addition of children, of course, added to this weaving process. First, sweet and beautiful Madison Rose, came into the mix. Followed quickly by witty Jacob Richard and quickly again followed gentle Austin Donald. A few years passed, and the DeCarlo household exploded with the life of Luke Anthony. God said, “It is good, the family is complete.” And He continued His work of knitting those two married hearts into one.

The diagnosis in 2007 was a blow to all. The WHY Lord? WHY? question will not be answered this side of eternity. God has remained silent on that one, knowing that our perspective down here on the earth is so limited. We can’t possibly understand His reasoning; it’s so very different than our human reasoning. His perspective encompasses ALL of time. Our perspective is limited to our immediate life span and the stories we’re told of previous generations. His ways are for good, to give us a future and a hope. Our ways tend to focus on our wants for the immediate, not always looking ahead. His love is outward, perfect and complete. Our love tends to be inward focused, wanting our own needs to be satisfied before we give of ourselves to others.

We learn mostly of love through what we see on TV, hear in popular songs, or see displayed in movies. This “Hollywood” version of love can’t hold a candle to God’s idea of love. God’s love is entirely different. Many weddings contain the “Love is patient and kind” verses from 1 Corinthians. And it’s one thing for it to be part of the endearing ceremony of marriage and quite another to see if lived out before our very eyes.

The boy, who grew into a young man, and now into a man, a godly man, has lived this out before us all. He took the vow “for better or worse, in sickness and health” very seriously. Gary has loved Marilyn patiently and kindly, not arrogantly or rudely. He certainly didn’t insist on his own way, and loved her by bearing all things, believing all things, hoping all things, and enduring all things. His love never failed.

We saw it. We witnessed it. And we testify to you of this love… We saw Marilyn visibly relax when Gary was in the room. We saw her face become more peaceful when he was in view. We saw her anxiety decrease as she heard his voice, speaking tender words of affection and love to her. As we watched her body failing, we witnessed her inner being growing. Truly it was a work of God. But the Lord called Gary into that process. He became her strength… Marilyn gained her strength, physically, emotionally, and spiritually by Gary’s strength.

I will never forget her reaching out her frail arms to wrap around his neck so that he could move her. I will never forget hearing him call her by the nickname “blondie” when she didn’t have a single strand of hair left on her pretty head. I will never forget watching him stoke the fire beside her bed in order to warm her cold body. These memories of TRUE LOVE will be seared into my mind forever.

Gary, we thank you and honor you for your TRUE, UNFAILING LOVE for Marilyn. And now as you have faithfully loved your dear wife, I assure you that over the next weeks, months and years you will witness the faithful love that our heavenly Father has for you. Now will be the time to truly “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. He is near to the brokenhearted, He will never leave you nor forsake you. And He will comfort your grieving hearts. This is for you too…Maddie, Jakes, Austin, and Luke. God’s love will envelope you during your time of sadness and even beyond. He promises to give you a future and a hope. And His promises will NOT fail.

The man loved the woman… in a way that only God could teach. And he loved her well!